User login
One of my friends asked on Facebook today why we couldn’t treat the whole year like the holiday season. Why? Because parents around the world would riot, that’s why! Do all these chorus teachers, band leaders, and dance instructors realize I have five children? I mean the shows are sweet and all, but by the fifth evening spent in a wooden auditorium chair, the only reason I’m there is in hopes of videoing some catastrophe so spectacular that it goes viral on YouTube. Santa, baby, hurry down the chimney tonight...so I can finally get back to accomplishing anything!
Head for the hills
I have spent my whole life at sea level, generally in places so hot and humid that Spanish moss grows wild...indoors. But since marrying a Colorado native, I’ve come to appreciate altitude. I thought the fabled “Rocky Mountain High” was poetic license; now I know it’s hypoxia. But according to new research from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, all that altitude-induced brain swelling may serve a surprisingly useful purpose: It seems to protect young athletes from concussions.
My first question is what in the world inspired the researchers to look at this question in the first place? Did one of them, like me, feel his brain starting to swell during the Bolder Boulder 10K Race (real motto: “Sea Level Is for Sissies”) and think, “Wow, if I actually pass out and hit my head right now, I bet I’ll be fine!”? Regardless of the inspiration, the investigators found that playing at an elevation of a mere 600 feet above sea level was enough to reduce concussions among high school athletes by 30%. This compares favorably to football helmets, which, according to a report earlier this year, appear to reduce concussion rates by 0%.
I imagine the folks at the National Football League are following this research carefully, hoping to minimize their liability for chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Sure, some teams (cough, Broncos, cough) are lucky enough to play at a safer altitude, but what about teams who play at sea level like the Dolphins and the Texans? What about the Saints, who actually play below sea level?
Don’t worry, I’ve got the answer. As expensive as new football stadiums are, would it really cost that much more to make them 54 stories tall? Let’s put some meaning in the words “sky box.” Let’s make sure every seat is in the nosebleed section. Build stadiums so tall they’ll have to rename touch downs “touch ups.” Laugh all you want, but remember, you heard it here first, folks.
Baby Yankovic
There are certain assumptions in life that I just need to be true, and I don’t appreciate it when some “scientist” comes along and questions them. For example, if I don’t eat any gluten for 5 months (Gluten, why oh why must you taste so good!?), I will have a six-pack by March. If I don’t, I swear I’m sitting down with a loaf of Wonder, a knife, and two sticks of Irish butter. And if I spend $32 a month to rent a trombone for my 12-year-old, I expect him to go to Harvard. Next year.
Except maybe I’ll send him to MIT instead. Because Harvard is where they just released a study in PLOSone suggesting that music lessons don’t make kids any smarter. Frankly, I have some issues with the study design that make me question whether the investigators took enough music lessons as children.
First, what they called “music lessons” were really just 6 weeks of “mommy and me” classes for 4-year-olds. No one expects a kid to found the next Twitter after 4 1/2 hours of playing the xylophone in a parent’s lap. A rigorous study would have forced children to saw away on Suzuki violins nightly for 5 years, but no ethical Human Subjects Committee would approve that; the benefit to science would be far less than the permanent damage to parents’ mental health, and that’s before factoring in the additional holiday recitals.
Shocking Chair
Sometimes it’s good to know you’re being heard, even partially. Like last night, when I asked my 9-year-old to clean up his room and he picked up a dirty sock. There were others, but hey, baby steps. Stinky, smelly baby steps.
I feel the same in my role on the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and the Media (AAP COCM). Right, we’re the killjoys who suggest that children under age 2 years not watch screen entertainment, based on studies suggesting that it interferes with their development. Just when I thought we were spitting into the wind (actually that’s one of our team-building exercises at AAP headquarters in Chicago).
So I was gratified at the public outrage when Fisher Price introduced their Newborn-to-Toddler Apptivity™ Seat for iPad® device just in time for Christmas shopping. Our friends at Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood expressed outrage; they’re nothing if not consistent over there. They were, however, joined by a chorus of parent bloggers and journalists who, apparently, really did skim our last policy statement.
I’m sure the public outcry will cut sales of the item by dozens, even scores. On the up side, children too zombified by staring at screens in infancy will never develop the attention span needed for music lessons, which means the next generation of parents might be spared endless rounds of concerts and recitals. We can ho-ho-hope!
David L. Hill, M.D., FAAP is the author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro (AAP Publishing, 2012). He is also vice president of Cape Fear Pediatrics in Wilmington, N.C., and adjunct assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He serves as Program Director for the AAP Council on Communications and Media and as an executive committee member of the North Carolina Pediatric Society. He has recorded commentaries for NPR's All Things Considered and provided content for various print, television, and Internet outlets.
One of my friends asked on Facebook today why we couldn’t treat the whole year like the holiday season. Why? Because parents around the world would riot, that’s why! Do all these chorus teachers, band leaders, and dance instructors realize I have five children? I mean the shows are sweet and all, but by the fifth evening spent in a wooden auditorium chair, the only reason I’m there is in hopes of videoing some catastrophe so spectacular that it goes viral on YouTube. Santa, baby, hurry down the chimney tonight...so I can finally get back to accomplishing anything!
Head for the hills
I have spent my whole life at sea level, generally in places so hot and humid that Spanish moss grows wild...indoors. But since marrying a Colorado native, I’ve come to appreciate altitude. I thought the fabled “Rocky Mountain High” was poetic license; now I know it’s hypoxia. But according to new research from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, all that altitude-induced brain swelling may serve a surprisingly useful purpose: It seems to protect young athletes from concussions.
My first question is what in the world inspired the researchers to look at this question in the first place? Did one of them, like me, feel his brain starting to swell during the Bolder Boulder 10K Race (real motto: “Sea Level Is for Sissies”) and think, “Wow, if I actually pass out and hit my head right now, I bet I’ll be fine!”? Regardless of the inspiration, the investigators found that playing at an elevation of a mere 600 feet above sea level was enough to reduce concussions among high school athletes by 30%. This compares favorably to football helmets, which, according to a report earlier this year, appear to reduce concussion rates by 0%.
I imagine the folks at the National Football League are following this research carefully, hoping to minimize their liability for chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Sure, some teams (cough, Broncos, cough) are lucky enough to play at a safer altitude, but what about teams who play at sea level like the Dolphins and the Texans? What about the Saints, who actually play below sea level?
Don’t worry, I’ve got the answer. As expensive as new football stadiums are, would it really cost that much more to make them 54 stories tall? Let’s put some meaning in the words “sky box.” Let’s make sure every seat is in the nosebleed section. Build stadiums so tall they’ll have to rename touch downs “touch ups.” Laugh all you want, but remember, you heard it here first, folks.
Baby Yankovic
There are certain assumptions in life that I just need to be true, and I don’t appreciate it when some “scientist” comes along and questions them. For example, if I don’t eat any gluten for 5 months (Gluten, why oh why must you taste so good!?), I will have a six-pack by March. If I don’t, I swear I’m sitting down with a loaf of Wonder, a knife, and two sticks of Irish butter. And if I spend $32 a month to rent a trombone for my 12-year-old, I expect him to go to Harvard. Next year.
Except maybe I’ll send him to MIT instead. Because Harvard is where they just released a study in PLOSone suggesting that music lessons don’t make kids any smarter. Frankly, I have some issues with the study design that make me question whether the investigators took enough music lessons as children.
First, what they called “music lessons” were really just 6 weeks of “mommy and me” classes for 4-year-olds. No one expects a kid to found the next Twitter after 4 1/2 hours of playing the xylophone in a parent’s lap. A rigorous study would have forced children to saw away on Suzuki violins nightly for 5 years, but no ethical Human Subjects Committee would approve that; the benefit to science would be far less than the permanent damage to parents’ mental health, and that’s before factoring in the additional holiday recitals.
Shocking Chair
Sometimes it’s good to know you’re being heard, even partially. Like last night, when I asked my 9-year-old to clean up his room and he picked up a dirty sock. There were others, but hey, baby steps. Stinky, smelly baby steps.
I feel the same in my role on the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and the Media (AAP COCM). Right, we’re the killjoys who suggest that children under age 2 years not watch screen entertainment, based on studies suggesting that it interferes with their development. Just when I thought we were spitting into the wind (actually that’s one of our team-building exercises at AAP headquarters in Chicago).
So I was gratified at the public outrage when Fisher Price introduced their Newborn-to-Toddler Apptivity™ Seat for iPad® device just in time for Christmas shopping. Our friends at Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood expressed outrage; they’re nothing if not consistent over there. They were, however, joined by a chorus of parent bloggers and journalists who, apparently, really did skim our last policy statement.
I’m sure the public outcry will cut sales of the item by dozens, even scores. On the up side, children too zombified by staring at screens in infancy will never develop the attention span needed for music lessons, which means the next generation of parents might be spared endless rounds of concerts and recitals. We can ho-ho-hope!
David L. Hill, M.D., FAAP is the author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro (AAP Publishing, 2012). He is also vice president of Cape Fear Pediatrics in Wilmington, N.C., and adjunct assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He serves as Program Director for the AAP Council on Communications and Media and as an executive committee member of the North Carolina Pediatric Society. He has recorded commentaries for NPR's All Things Considered and provided content for various print, television, and Internet outlets.
One of my friends asked on Facebook today why we couldn’t treat the whole year like the holiday season. Why? Because parents around the world would riot, that’s why! Do all these chorus teachers, band leaders, and dance instructors realize I have five children? I mean the shows are sweet and all, but by the fifth evening spent in a wooden auditorium chair, the only reason I’m there is in hopes of videoing some catastrophe so spectacular that it goes viral on YouTube. Santa, baby, hurry down the chimney tonight...so I can finally get back to accomplishing anything!
Head for the hills
I have spent my whole life at sea level, generally in places so hot and humid that Spanish moss grows wild...indoors. But since marrying a Colorado native, I’ve come to appreciate altitude. I thought the fabled “Rocky Mountain High” was poetic license; now I know it’s hypoxia. But according to new research from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, all that altitude-induced brain swelling may serve a surprisingly useful purpose: It seems to protect young athletes from concussions.
My first question is what in the world inspired the researchers to look at this question in the first place? Did one of them, like me, feel his brain starting to swell during the Bolder Boulder 10K Race (real motto: “Sea Level Is for Sissies”) and think, “Wow, if I actually pass out and hit my head right now, I bet I’ll be fine!”? Regardless of the inspiration, the investigators found that playing at an elevation of a mere 600 feet above sea level was enough to reduce concussions among high school athletes by 30%. This compares favorably to football helmets, which, according to a report earlier this year, appear to reduce concussion rates by 0%.
I imagine the folks at the National Football League are following this research carefully, hoping to minimize their liability for chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Sure, some teams (cough, Broncos, cough) are lucky enough to play at a safer altitude, but what about teams who play at sea level like the Dolphins and the Texans? What about the Saints, who actually play below sea level?
Don’t worry, I’ve got the answer. As expensive as new football stadiums are, would it really cost that much more to make them 54 stories tall? Let’s put some meaning in the words “sky box.” Let’s make sure every seat is in the nosebleed section. Build stadiums so tall they’ll have to rename touch downs “touch ups.” Laugh all you want, but remember, you heard it here first, folks.
Baby Yankovic
There are certain assumptions in life that I just need to be true, and I don’t appreciate it when some “scientist” comes along and questions them. For example, if I don’t eat any gluten for 5 months (Gluten, why oh why must you taste so good!?), I will have a six-pack by March. If I don’t, I swear I’m sitting down with a loaf of Wonder, a knife, and two sticks of Irish butter. And if I spend $32 a month to rent a trombone for my 12-year-old, I expect him to go to Harvard. Next year.
Except maybe I’ll send him to MIT instead. Because Harvard is where they just released a study in PLOSone suggesting that music lessons don’t make kids any smarter. Frankly, I have some issues with the study design that make me question whether the investigators took enough music lessons as children.
First, what they called “music lessons” were really just 6 weeks of “mommy and me” classes for 4-year-olds. No one expects a kid to found the next Twitter after 4 1/2 hours of playing the xylophone in a parent’s lap. A rigorous study would have forced children to saw away on Suzuki violins nightly for 5 years, but no ethical Human Subjects Committee would approve that; the benefit to science would be far less than the permanent damage to parents’ mental health, and that’s before factoring in the additional holiday recitals.
Shocking Chair
Sometimes it’s good to know you’re being heard, even partially. Like last night, when I asked my 9-year-old to clean up his room and he picked up a dirty sock. There were others, but hey, baby steps. Stinky, smelly baby steps.
I feel the same in my role on the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and the Media (AAP COCM). Right, we’re the killjoys who suggest that children under age 2 years not watch screen entertainment, based on studies suggesting that it interferes with their development. Just when I thought we were spitting into the wind (actually that’s one of our team-building exercises at AAP headquarters in Chicago).
So I was gratified at the public outrage when Fisher Price introduced their Newborn-to-Toddler Apptivity™ Seat for iPad® device just in time for Christmas shopping. Our friends at Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood expressed outrage; they’re nothing if not consistent over there. They were, however, joined by a chorus of parent bloggers and journalists who, apparently, really did skim our last policy statement.
I’m sure the public outcry will cut sales of the item by dozens, even scores. On the up side, children too zombified by staring at screens in infancy will never develop the attention span needed for music lessons, which means the next generation of parents might be spared endless rounds of concerts and recitals. We can ho-ho-hope!
David L. Hill, M.D., FAAP is the author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro (AAP Publishing, 2012). He is also vice president of Cape Fear Pediatrics in Wilmington, N.C., and adjunct assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He serves as Program Director for the AAP Council on Communications and Media and as an executive committee member of the North Carolina Pediatric Society. He has recorded commentaries for NPR's All Things Considered and provided content for various print, television, and Internet outlets.