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Many articles have been published over the years documenting the colorful range of malapropisms uttered by patients, transcriptionists, and, even physicians.1-7 Recently I discovered that children can dislocate medical language as well as the best of them.
I had just finished seeing a 4-year-old girl with dysuria who had a normal urinalysis and a mildly red introitus. When I told the child’s mother that her daughter’s urethra was irritated, the girl said, “It’s not your rethra, it’s my rethra.”
After this encounter, I started asking children at routine visits to repeat medical phrases and was surprised at how many complicated words they pronounced well. On the other hand, a fair number of words and phrases were turned on their ears.
The table below contains malapropisms spoken by 3- to 5-year-old patients in my office. The column on the left shows what I said to the child. The center column indicates the child’s response. In the third column, I added my own whimsical interpretation of the child’s response.
TABLE
| What I said | What the child said | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| Pyogenic granuloma | Pyogenic granola | Tainted snack |
| Syncope | Sickapee | How nephrologists feel at the end of the day |
| Cystic duct | Cystic duck | Bird with acne |
| Bradycardia | Brady coroner | Pathologist who does autopsies on the brady bunch |
| Moro reflex | Moral reflex | A trait some politicians lack |
| Transient ischemic attack | Transient schematic attack | Brief desire to do homework |
| Papilledema | Papal edema | What the pope gets after being on his feet all day |
| Pruritus | Purritis | Allergy to cats |
| Myocardial infarction | Myocardial infraction | Eating too much fat |
| Incompetent cervix | Incompetent service | What managed care gets you |
| Hemoglobin | Hemogoblin | The person who draws your blood |
| Bezoars | Bee’s oars | Tiny paddles |
| TB test | TV test | Test to see whether a child is watching “Barney” too often |
| Toxic shock syndrome | Toxic sock syndrome | Result of typical male adolescent foot hygiene |
| Ipecac | Ipecat | Treatment for kids who get into the cat food |
| Pleural effusion | Pleural allusion | Fluid that only a radiologist can see |
| Paresthesias | Paris fevers | Response to the city that tingles |
| Incontinentia pigmenti | Incontinent piggy | Reason pooh won’t play house with piglet |
| Tarry stools | Tardy stools | Indication for mineral oil |
| Growth potential | Gross potential | Ability of 8-year-olds to tell sick jokes |
1. Hale PN. Cheyanne strokes. N Engl J Med 1964;271:161.-
2. Palarea ER. Rare-disease registry. N Engl J Med 1964;271:476.-
3. Rosenbloom AL. Serendipitous neologisms. Clin Pediatr 1972;11:496-7.
4. Reid D. That’s what you dictated, doctor! Med Econ 1973;50(Oct 15):143.-
5. Dirckx JH. Doctor, I’m (sic). Am J Dermatopathol 1992;14:369-71.
6. Kenyon TM, Davis SW. Medical malapropisms: the sequin. J Fam Pract 1995;41:193-4.
7. Kartman A. More malapropisms. J Fam Pract 1995;41:228.-
Many articles have been published over the years documenting the colorful range of malapropisms uttered by patients, transcriptionists, and, even physicians.1-7 Recently I discovered that children can dislocate medical language as well as the best of them.
I had just finished seeing a 4-year-old girl with dysuria who had a normal urinalysis and a mildly red introitus. When I told the child’s mother that her daughter’s urethra was irritated, the girl said, “It’s not your rethra, it’s my rethra.”
After this encounter, I started asking children at routine visits to repeat medical phrases and was surprised at how many complicated words they pronounced well. On the other hand, a fair number of words and phrases were turned on their ears.
The table below contains malapropisms spoken by 3- to 5-year-old patients in my office. The column on the left shows what I said to the child. The center column indicates the child’s response. In the third column, I added my own whimsical interpretation of the child’s response.
TABLE
| What I said | What the child said | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| Pyogenic granuloma | Pyogenic granola | Tainted snack |
| Syncope | Sickapee | How nephrologists feel at the end of the day |
| Cystic duct | Cystic duck | Bird with acne |
| Bradycardia | Brady coroner | Pathologist who does autopsies on the brady bunch |
| Moro reflex | Moral reflex | A trait some politicians lack |
| Transient ischemic attack | Transient schematic attack | Brief desire to do homework |
| Papilledema | Papal edema | What the pope gets after being on his feet all day |
| Pruritus | Purritis | Allergy to cats |
| Myocardial infarction | Myocardial infraction | Eating too much fat |
| Incompetent cervix | Incompetent service | What managed care gets you |
| Hemoglobin | Hemogoblin | The person who draws your blood |
| Bezoars | Bee’s oars | Tiny paddles |
| TB test | TV test | Test to see whether a child is watching “Barney” too often |
| Toxic shock syndrome | Toxic sock syndrome | Result of typical male adolescent foot hygiene |
| Ipecac | Ipecat | Treatment for kids who get into the cat food |
| Pleural effusion | Pleural allusion | Fluid that only a radiologist can see |
| Paresthesias | Paris fevers | Response to the city that tingles |
| Incontinentia pigmenti | Incontinent piggy | Reason pooh won’t play house with piglet |
| Tarry stools | Tardy stools | Indication for mineral oil |
| Growth potential | Gross potential | Ability of 8-year-olds to tell sick jokes |
Many articles have been published over the years documenting the colorful range of malapropisms uttered by patients, transcriptionists, and, even physicians.1-7 Recently I discovered that children can dislocate medical language as well as the best of them.
I had just finished seeing a 4-year-old girl with dysuria who had a normal urinalysis and a mildly red introitus. When I told the child’s mother that her daughter’s urethra was irritated, the girl said, “It’s not your rethra, it’s my rethra.”
After this encounter, I started asking children at routine visits to repeat medical phrases and was surprised at how many complicated words they pronounced well. On the other hand, a fair number of words and phrases were turned on their ears.
The table below contains malapropisms spoken by 3- to 5-year-old patients in my office. The column on the left shows what I said to the child. The center column indicates the child’s response. In the third column, I added my own whimsical interpretation of the child’s response.
TABLE
| What I said | What the child said | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| Pyogenic granuloma | Pyogenic granola | Tainted snack |
| Syncope | Sickapee | How nephrologists feel at the end of the day |
| Cystic duct | Cystic duck | Bird with acne |
| Bradycardia | Brady coroner | Pathologist who does autopsies on the brady bunch |
| Moro reflex | Moral reflex | A trait some politicians lack |
| Transient ischemic attack | Transient schematic attack | Brief desire to do homework |
| Papilledema | Papal edema | What the pope gets after being on his feet all day |
| Pruritus | Purritis | Allergy to cats |
| Myocardial infarction | Myocardial infraction | Eating too much fat |
| Incompetent cervix | Incompetent service | What managed care gets you |
| Hemoglobin | Hemogoblin | The person who draws your blood |
| Bezoars | Bee’s oars | Tiny paddles |
| TB test | TV test | Test to see whether a child is watching “Barney” too often |
| Toxic shock syndrome | Toxic sock syndrome | Result of typical male adolescent foot hygiene |
| Ipecac | Ipecat | Treatment for kids who get into the cat food |
| Pleural effusion | Pleural allusion | Fluid that only a radiologist can see |
| Paresthesias | Paris fevers | Response to the city that tingles |
| Incontinentia pigmenti | Incontinent piggy | Reason pooh won’t play house with piglet |
| Tarry stools | Tardy stools | Indication for mineral oil |
| Growth potential | Gross potential | Ability of 8-year-olds to tell sick jokes |
1. Hale PN. Cheyanne strokes. N Engl J Med 1964;271:161.-
2. Palarea ER. Rare-disease registry. N Engl J Med 1964;271:476.-
3. Rosenbloom AL. Serendipitous neologisms. Clin Pediatr 1972;11:496-7.
4. Reid D. That’s what you dictated, doctor! Med Econ 1973;50(Oct 15):143.-
5. Dirckx JH. Doctor, I’m (sic). Am J Dermatopathol 1992;14:369-71.
6. Kenyon TM, Davis SW. Medical malapropisms: the sequin. J Fam Pract 1995;41:193-4.
7. Kartman A. More malapropisms. J Fam Pract 1995;41:228.-
1. Hale PN. Cheyanne strokes. N Engl J Med 1964;271:161.-
2. Palarea ER. Rare-disease registry. N Engl J Med 1964;271:476.-
3. Rosenbloom AL. Serendipitous neologisms. Clin Pediatr 1972;11:496-7.
4. Reid D. That’s what you dictated, doctor! Med Econ 1973;50(Oct 15):143.-
5. Dirckx JH. Doctor, I’m (sic). Am J Dermatopathol 1992;14:369-71.
6. Kenyon TM, Davis SW. Medical malapropisms: the sequin. J Fam Pract 1995;41:193-4.
7. Kartman A. More malapropisms. J Fam Pract 1995;41:228.-