Pebble Kranz, MD

Sarah, a new mom who’s thrilled about her 3-month-old baby, is struggling with her sex life. Her once vibrant physical relationship with her partner has dwindled, and she’s dealing with painful intercourse and a notable drop in desire.

Pregnancy and childbirth are transformative experiences that affect every facet of a person’s life, including their sexual well-being. Despite this fact, clinicians frequently ignore sexual well-being, beyond contraception, in prenatal and postpartum care. In peripartum care, anticipatory guidance is recognized to be crucial to the well-being of new parents and their babies. Why should sexual well-being get the shaft? 
 

Why Talk About Sex?

Sex is a fundamental aspect of many people’s lives and relationships and can significantly affect overall well-being. Despite cultural narratives that often exclude the sexual function and pleasure aspect of sexual health from peripartum discussions, many new parents face sexual challenges that can worsen their physical and emotional health.

While up to 88% of new parents report problems with sexual well-being, less than 30% report receiving anticipatory guidance about sexual function changes. One study found only 15% of postpartum women reported discussing sexual concerns with their medical providers. And, when new parents receive more information about sexual health, they tend to report improved sexual well-being. Clearly, a gap needs bridging.

Sexual health doesn’t just affect individual well-being; it intertwines with relationship satisfaction. Attending to satisfaction in one’s relationship may be an important component of child health as well. 

Declines in the frequency of sexual engagement and desire are common after childbirth. Changes in arousal, orgasm, and sexual pleasure, often accompanied by pain, are also reported by many women. Some birthing parents report changes to the sensation of their genitals that are thought to be related to stretch of the pudendal nerve during parturition. Most experience resolution of these concerns within the first year after childbirth, although some women report persistent problems, including up to 33% with persistent sexual pain.

Many factors can contribute to postpartum sexual issues, including hormonal changes, body image concerns, and mental health conditions. Breastfeeding, for instance, can lead to vaginal dryness and reduced sexual arousal due to hormonal shifts. Body image issues and mood disorders like depression and anxiety can also adversely affect sexual function. Women with postpartum depression are more likely to experience sexual concerns, and the relationship between sexual difficulties and depression can be bidirectional.
 

Empowerment and Expectations

One commonly cited recommendation is to wait until 6 weeks postpartum before resuming penetrative intercourse after a normal vaginal delivery. However, this guideline lacks robust scientific backing. Many people might feel ready for sexual intercourse much sooner or, conversely, might not feel comfortable at the 6-week mark. As clinicians, we must empower our patients to trust their own bodies and make decisions based on their comfort and readiness.

The 6-week advice can sometimes unintentionally convey to women that they are not experts on their own bodies, or that any kind of sex is risky. Acknowledging the recovery timeline for every person is unique and various forms of sexual expression are safe can help foster a healthier approach to resuming sexual activities. In one study of postpartum sexual behavior, in the first 6 weeks after delivery, the most common kinds of sexual play included giving oral sex to a partner and solo sex. Between 80% and 90% have resumed vaginal-receiving sexual play (including intercourse) by 3 months. 

While recognizing that changes to sexual experience occur, we need to reinforce that gradual recovery is expected. And if women express distress about a sexual change, or if those changes persist, primary care providers should be prepared to help them with their concerns. 

Parents need to know experiencing pain is not something they should “just deal with” or ignore. Attempting to repeatedly endure sexual pain can cause new issues, such as high-tone dysfunction of the pelvic floor or an understandable decrease in willingness or receptiveness to sexual play of any kind. Encouraging open communication about these issues can help couples navigate these changes more smoothly.

Partners, especially new fathers, also experience sexual and emotional challenges. They can feel blindsided by the changes in their relationship and might struggle with feelings of jealousy or inadequacy. Understanding partners also face difficulties can help in providing a more comprehensive approach to sexual health care.
 

Starting the Conversation

So, how can we initiate these important conversations with new parents? Start by providing permission. As healthcare providers, we need to create an environment where discussing sexual health is normalized and welcomed. Simple, nonjudgmental statements can open the door to these discussions. For example, saying, “Many people notice changes in their sexual desire or pleasure after childbirth. Has anything like this happened to you or your partner?” can encourage patients to share their concerns.

Assessing the importance to patients of sexual problems can help direct the need for intervention. Follow up on these concerns and offer support, whether through counseling, pelvic floor physical therapy, or a referral to a sexual medicine specialist, a sex therapist, or other appropriate resource.

Let’s return to Sarah. In the ideal world, at 3 months postpartum she will already have had a handful of clinical conversations about her sexual well-being with her healthcare team — at prenatal visits, at well-baby visits, and at her postpartum checkups. Several of these conversations included her partner. They both understand the transition to parenthood could be rocky for their sex lives. They’ve set aside time to connect and stay physically close. She’s listened to her body and only engaged in sexual play for which she feels ready. Now, noting that some aspects of sexual play are persistently uncomfortable, she knows it’s time to follow up. Without shame or anxiety, she books an appointment with you, knowing that you understand how important this issue is for her, her partner, and her baby. 

If you’re working with new parents, remember: Open dialogue about sexual health is not just beneficial — it’s essential. Let’s bridge the gap in care by embracing these conversations and offering the support new parents truly need.
 

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

Sarah, a new mom who’s thrilled about her 3-month-old baby, is struggling with her sex life. Her once vibrant physical relationship with her partner has dwindled, and she’s dealing with painful intercourse and a notable drop in desire.

Pregnancy and childbirth are transformative experiences that affect every facet of a person’s life, including their sexual well-being. Despite this fact, clinicians frequently ignore sexual well-being, beyond contraception, in prenatal and postpartum care. In peripartum care, anticipatory guidance is recognized to be crucial to the well-being of new parents and their babies. Why should sexual well-being get the shaft? 
 

Why Talk About Sex?

Sex is a fundamental aspect of many people’s lives and relationships and can significantly affect overall well-being. Despite cultural narratives that often exclude the sexual function and pleasure aspect of sexual health from peripartum discussions, many new parents face sexual challenges that can worsen their physical and emotional health.

While up to 88% of new parents report problems with sexual well-being, less than 30% report receiving anticipatory guidance about sexual function changes. One study found only 15% of postpartum women reported discussing sexual concerns with their medical providers. And, when new parents receive more information about sexual health, they tend to report improved sexual well-being. Clearly, a gap needs bridging.

Sexual health doesn’t just affect individual well-being; it intertwines with relationship satisfaction. Attending to satisfaction in one’s relationship may be an important component of child health as well. 

Declines in the frequency of sexual engagement and desire are common after childbirth. Changes in arousal, orgasm, and sexual pleasure, often accompanied by pain, are also reported by many women. Some birthing parents report changes to the sensation of their genitals that are thought to be related to stretch of the pudendal nerve during parturition. Most experience resolution of these concerns within the first year after childbirth, although some women report persistent problems, including up to 33% with persistent sexual pain.

Many factors can contribute to postpartum sexual issues, including hormonal changes, body image concerns, and mental health conditions. Breastfeeding, for instance, can lead to vaginal dryness and reduced sexual arousal due to hormonal shifts. Body image issues and mood disorders like depression and anxiety can also adversely affect sexual function. Women with postpartum depression are more likely to experience sexual concerns, and the relationship between sexual difficulties and depression can be bidirectional.
 

Empowerment and Expectations

One commonly cited recommendation is to wait until 6 weeks postpartum before resuming penetrative intercourse after a normal vaginal delivery. However, this guideline lacks robust scientific backing. Many people might feel ready for sexual intercourse much sooner or, conversely, might not feel comfortable at the 6-week mark. As clinicians, we must empower our patients to trust their own bodies and make decisions based on their comfort and readiness.

The 6-week advice can sometimes unintentionally convey to women that they are not experts on their own bodies, or that any kind of sex is risky. Acknowledging the recovery timeline for every person is unique and various forms of sexual expression are safe can help foster a healthier approach to resuming sexual activities. In one study of postpartum sexual behavior, in the first 6 weeks after delivery, the most common kinds of sexual play included giving oral sex to a partner and solo sex. Between 80% and 90% have resumed vaginal-receiving sexual play (including intercourse) by 3 months. 

While recognizing that changes to sexual experience occur, we need to reinforce that gradual recovery is expected. And if women express distress about a sexual change, or if those changes persist, primary care providers should be prepared to help them with their concerns. 

Parents need to know experiencing pain is not something they should “just deal with” or ignore. Attempting to repeatedly endure sexual pain can cause new issues, such as high-tone dysfunction of the pelvic floor or an understandable decrease in willingness or receptiveness to sexual play of any kind. Encouraging open communication about these issues can help couples navigate these changes more smoothly.

Partners, especially new fathers, also experience sexual and emotional challenges. They can feel blindsided by the changes in their relationship and might struggle with feelings of jealousy or inadequacy. Understanding partners also face difficulties can help in providing a more comprehensive approach to sexual health care.
 

Starting the Conversation

So, how can we initiate these important conversations with new parents? Start by providing permission. As healthcare providers, we need to create an environment where discussing sexual health is normalized and welcomed. Simple, nonjudgmental statements can open the door to these discussions. For example, saying, “Many people notice changes in their sexual desire or pleasure after childbirth. Has anything like this happened to you or your partner?” can encourage patients to share their concerns.

Assessing the importance to patients of sexual problems can help direct the need for intervention. Follow up on these concerns and offer support, whether through counseling, pelvic floor physical therapy, or a referral to a sexual medicine specialist, a sex therapist, or other appropriate resource.

Let’s return to Sarah. In the ideal world, at 3 months postpartum she will already have had a handful of clinical conversations about her sexual well-being with her healthcare team — at prenatal visits, at well-baby visits, and at her postpartum checkups. Several of these conversations included her partner. They both understand the transition to parenthood could be rocky for their sex lives. They’ve set aside time to connect and stay physically close. She’s listened to her body and only engaged in sexual play for which she feels ready. Now, noting that some aspects of sexual play are persistently uncomfortable, she knows it’s time to follow up. Without shame or anxiety, she books an appointment with you, knowing that you understand how important this issue is for her, her partner, and her baby. 

If you’re working with new parents, remember: Open dialogue about sexual health is not just beneficial — it’s essential. Let’s bridge the gap in care by embracing these conversations and offering the support new parents truly need.
 

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

Sarah, a new mom who’s thrilled about her 3-month-old baby, is struggling with her sex life. Her once vibrant physical relationship with her partner has dwindled, and she’s dealing with painful intercourse and a notable drop in desire.

Pregnancy and childbirth are transformative experiences that affect every facet of a person’s life, including their sexual well-being. Despite this fact, clinicians frequently ignore sexual well-being, beyond contraception, in prenatal and postpartum care. In peripartum care, anticipatory guidance is recognized to be crucial to the well-being of new parents and their babies. Why should sexual well-being get the shaft? 
 

Why Talk About Sex?

Sex is a fundamental aspect of many people’s lives and relationships and can significantly affect overall well-being. Despite cultural narratives that often exclude the sexual function and pleasure aspect of sexual health from peripartum discussions, many new parents face sexual challenges that can worsen their physical and emotional health.

While up to 88% of new parents report problems with sexual well-being, less than 30% report receiving anticipatory guidance about sexual function changes. One study found only 15% of postpartum women reported discussing sexual concerns with their medical providers. And, when new parents receive more information about sexual health, they tend to report improved sexual well-being. Clearly, a gap needs bridging.

Sexual health doesn’t just affect individual well-being; it intertwines with relationship satisfaction. Attending to satisfaction in one’s relationship may be an important component of child health as well. 

Declines in the frequency of sexual engagement and desire are common after childbirth. Changes in arousal, orgasm, and sexual pleasure, often accompanied by pain, are also reported by many women. Some birthing parents report changes to the sensation of their genitals that are thought to be related to stretch of the pudendal nerve during parturition. Most experience resolution of these concerns within the first year after childbirth, although some women report persistent problems, including up to 33% with persistent sexual pain.

Many factors can contribute to postpartum sexual issues, including hormonal changes, body image concerns, and mental health conditions. Breastfeeding, for instance, can lead to vaginal dryness and reduced sexual arousal due to hormonal shifts. Body image issues and mood disorders like depression and anxiety can also adversely affect sexual function. Women with postpartum depression are more likely to experience sexual concerns, and the relationship between sexual difficulties and depression can be bidirectional.
 

Empowerment and Expectations

One commonly cited recommendation is to wait until 6 weeks postpartum before resuming penetrative intercourse after a normal vaginal delivery. However, this guideline lacks robust scientific backing. Many people might feel ready for sexual intercourse much sooner or, conversely, might not feel comfortable at the 6-week mark. As clinicians, we must empower our patients to trust their own bodies and make decisions based on their comfort and readiness.

The 6-week advice can sometimes unintentionally convey to women that they are not experts on their own bodies, or that any kind of sex is risky. Acknowledging the recovery timeline for every person is unique and various forms of sexual expression are safe can help foster a healthier approach to resuming sexual activities. In one study of postpartum sexual behavior, in the first 6 weeks after delivery, the most common kinds of sexual play included giving oral sex to a partner and solo sex. Between 80% and 90% have resumed vaginal-receiving sexual play (including intercourse) by 3 months. 

While recognizing that changes to sexual experience occur, we need to reinforce that gradual recovery is expected. And if women express distress about a sexual change, or if those changes persist, primary care providers should be prepared to help them with their concerns. 

Parents need to know experiencing pain is not something they should “just deal with” or ignore. Attempting to repeatedly endure sexual pain can cause new issues, such as high-tone dysfunction of the pelvic floor or an understandable decrease in willingness or receptiveness to sexual play of any kind. Encouraging open communication about these issues can help couples navigate these changes more smoothly.

Partners, especially new fathers, also experience sexual and emotional challenges. They can feel blindsided by the changes in their relationship and might struggle with feelings of jealousy or inadequacy. Understanding partners also face difficulties can help in providing a more comprehensive approach to sexual health care.
 

Starting the Conversation

So, how can we initiate these important conversations with new parents? Start by providing permission. As healthcare providers, we need to create an environment where discussing sexual health is normalized and welcomed. Simple, nonjudgmental statements can open the door to these discussions. For example, saying, “Many people notice changes in their sexual desire or pleasure after childbirth. Has anything like this happened to you or your partner?” can encourage patients to share their concerns.

Assessing the importance to patients of sexual problems can help direct the need for intervention. Follow up on these concerns and offer support, whether through counseling, pelvic floor physical therapy, or a referral to a sexual medicine specialist, a sex therapist, or other appropriate resource.

Let’s return to Sarah. In the ideal world, at 3 months postpartum she will already have had a handful of clinical conversations about her sexual well-being with her healthcare team — at prenatal visits, at well-baby visits, and at her postpartum checkups. Several of these conversations included her partner. They both understand the transition to parenthood could be rocky for their sex lives. They’ve set aside time to connect and stay physically close. She’s listened to her body and only engaged in sexual play for which she feels ready. Now, noting that some aspects of sexual play are persistently uncomfortable, she knows it’s time to follow up. Without shame or anxiety, she books an appointment with you, knowing that you understand how important this issue is for her, her partner, and her baby. 

If you’re working with new parents, remember: Open dialogue about sexual health is not just beneficial — it’s essential. Let’s bridge the gap in care by embracing these conversations and offering the support new parents truly need.
 

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

A 25-year-old man comes in with a pulled muscle. You ask if he has anything else to discuss. Sheepishly, he says he is concerned about his use of pornography. 

A 45-year-old woman struggling with depression finds herself persistently seeking sex outside the bounds of her long-term relationship. Her partner is threatening to leave. She is devastated and tells you she doesn’t understand her own behavior. 

Do these patients have some form of sex addiction? How should a primary care clinician intervene? Is a referral to a 12-step program for sex addiction the right choice? What other options exist? Is a diagnosis — let alone treatment — possible or appropriate? 
 

‘Who Are You Calling “Abnormal” ’?

Normal is not a meaningful concept in human sexual behavior. To quote the sex therapist Marty Klein, PhD: “Normal is just a setting on the dryer.” 

The same goes among partners: What is “normal” for one person in a sexual relationship may discomfit another. In partnerships, we have differences around all sorts of issues, from finances to parenting to how to load the dishwasher. Why should sex, sexual desire, and sexual frequency be different? 

Remember: Shame, fear, and secrecy often play a role in perpetuating behaviors that cause distress. Helping our patients accept and embrace their whole selves can provide important healing, relief from anxiety, and may even help them regulate their actions. Feeling less shame, fear, and secrecy may facilitate safer choices about sex, as well as testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections.

The International Classification of Diseases-11 includes compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD)as an attempt to create consensus around a complicated, and hotly debated, problem to facilitate diagnosis and research. Syndromes similar to CSBD have had many names: “hypersexual disorder,” “sexual addiction,” “sexual compulsivity,” and “out-of-control sexual behavior.” A sizable cohort of the sexuality research community casts doubt on whether CSBD is even a discrete diagnosis. 

According to the ICD-11, CSBD is characterized by “intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges that are experienced as irresistible or uncontrollable” and result in significant distress or functional impairment.

This diagnosis has several important rule-outs. First, paraphilias, defined as a set of nonconsensual sexual behaviors and interests, are excluded. Another is that distress exclusively related to moral judgment or social disapproval is not sufficient for a diagnosis of CSBD. Finally, the diagnosis hinges on distress and does not rely on frequency of any type of sexual behavior. Some people experience significant distress over behaviors in which they engage infrequently, whereas others may have no distress from activities in which they engage quite frequently. 

In one study from Germany, 5% of men and 3% of women met criteria for CSBD. A small US study found the number to be 10% and 7%, respectively. The diagnosis is not simple. Compulsive sexual behavior can be secondary to other mental health or medical conditions. Behaviors sometimes confused with CSBD can result from neurologic diseases, such as frontal brain lesions or frontotemporal dementia, as well as the use of substances and medications that enhance dopaminergic activity. 

Impaired control over sexual impulses occurs in manic and hypomanic episodes. Compulsive sexual behavior frequently co-occurs with mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and substance use disorders. Those meeting criteria for CSBD may engage in sexual behaviors as a way of coping with depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, or other negative affective states.  

The diagnosis of CSBD may be useful for clinicians. However, many, perhaps most, patients who present with concerns about their sexual behavior will fail to meet most criteria for CSBD. Their problem is of shorter duration, related to morality, external disapproval, lack of sexual health information, and anxiety about diverse erotic interests. It may be helpful for them to understand that they are not in the grip of a lifelong disorder but are experiencing common life challenges. 

Societal concerns about sexually explicit media, often called pornography, are complex, conflicting, and catastrophizing. Some studies indicate that sexually explicit media are positive for both individual and relational sexual satisfaction; other studies have found negative effects on sexual function. Concerns about pornography often are conflated with taboos about solo sexual activity. Ironically, use of pornography is associated with fear of addiction to pornography, creating a spiral of negative self-perception. 

Consequences of sexual behavior may induce distress, even if a person doesn’t meet criteria for CSBD, such as potential dissolution of a marriage, loss of a job, excessive spending, sexually transmitted infections, other health concerns, and even legal problems. Sexual behavior might not be the central issue but rather an offshoot of relational distress, a mental health disorder, or a dysfunctional coping style. 

Guilt and shame can act as potent contributors to maintaining the behaviors as well as promoting secrecy around them. Sexual medicine experts recommend avoiding interventions that increase the experience of discrimination and stigma and avoiding the pathologization of the behaviors of sexually diverse individuals. As in so many aspects of medical care, we must walk in our patients’ shoes and avoid imposing on them our own moral or religious values. 
 

What Can a Primary Care Provider Do?  

When a patient is concerned about sexual behavior that feels out of control, primary care providers have an important role in evaluating for neurologic disease or side effects related to the use of medication or other substances, and facilitating psychiatric assessment to evaluate for mental health comorbidities, past trauma, and associated attachment disorders. 

Our patients need resources to tease out the individual and relational problems that may arise. Seek out well-trained sex therapy colleagues in your community. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is one certifying body in the United States for sex therapy. 

Because of the heterogeneity of those who present with out-of-control sexual behavior, no one treatment fits all. Twelve-step programs, especially those with a focus on sexual “abstinence,” may not be the best choice. Many psychotherapeutic modalities are effective and often focus on addressing underlying or unrecognized mental health concerns, provide training on self-regulation and urge management, and relationship skills. Most important, the therapist needs to be sexologically informed and aware of their own biases around sexuality. Medical treatments are not recommended without concurrent psychological intervention. 

Relational sex therapy can help couples create clear relational agreements that work for both parties (or, in polyamorous relationships, everyone involved). Relational distress also may be a stimulus for individual psychotherapy. 

Back to these two patients. 

The 25-year-old could be counseled that use of sexually explicit media and solo sex are not inherently bad or damaging. When used for pleasure and enjoyment, they do not lead to problems with partnered sex or cause sexual dysfunction. Counseling him to move toward social engagement and life goals, rather than away from pornography, may be all that is necessary. 

Our second patient probably will need more intensive treatment, including medication management for her mood and referral to a certified sex therapist who has expertise in working with out-of-control sexual behavior. When she returns to see you in follow-up, she ideally expresses reduced shame, more autonomy, and renewed connection to her values, and she is keeping her relational agreements without sacrificing her sexual needs. 
 

Dr. Kranz is medical director, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness; assistant professor of Clinical Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York. Dr. Kranz has disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Dr. Rosen is director of Behavioral Health, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness, Rochester, New York. He has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article appeared on Medscape.com.

A 25-year-old man comes in with a pulled muscle. You ask if he has anything else to discuss. Sheepishly, he says he is concerned about his use of pornography. 

A 45-year-old woman struggling with depression finds herself persistently seeking sex outside the bounds of her long-term relationship. Her partner is threatening to leave. She is devastated and tells you she doesn’t understand her own behavior. 

Do these patients have some form of sex addiction? How should a primary care clinician intervene? Is a referral to a 12-step program for sex addiction the right choice? What other options exist? Is a diagnosis — let alone treatment — possible or appropriate? 
 

‘Who Are You Calling “Abnormal” ’?

Normal is not a meaningful concept in human sexual behavior. To quote the sex therapist Marty Klein, PhD: “Normal is just a setting on the dryer.” 

The same goes among partners: What is “normal” for one person in a sexual relationship may discomfit another. In partnerships, we have differences around all sorts of issues, from finances to parenting to how to load the dishwasher. Why should sex, sexual desire, and sexual frequency be different? 

Remember: Shame, fear, and secrecy often play a role in perpetuating behaviors that cause distress. Helping our patients accept and embrace their whole selves can provide important healing, relief from anxiety, and may even help them regulate their actions. Feeling less shame, fear, and secrecy may facilitate safer choices about sex, as well as testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections.

The International Classification of Diseases-11 includes compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD)as an attempt to create consensus around a complicated, and hotly debated, problem to facilitate diagnosis and research. Syndromes similar to CSBD have had many names: “hypersexual disorder,” “sexual addiction,” “sexual compulsivity,” and “out-of-control sexual behavior.” A sizable cohort of the sexuality research community casts doubt on whether CSBD is even a discrete diagnosis. 

According to the ICD-11, CSBD is characterized by “intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges that are experienced as irresistible or uncontrollable” and result in significant distress or functional impairment.

This diagnosis has several important rule-outs. First, paraphilias, defined as a set of nonconsensual sexual behaviors and interests, are excluded. Another is that distress exclusively related to moral judgment or social disapproval is not sufficient for a diagnosis of CSBD. Finally, the diagnosis hinges on distress and does not rely on frequency of any type of sexual behavior. Some people experience significant distress over behaviors in which they engage infrequently, whereas others may have no distress from activities in which they engage quite frequently. 

In one study from Germany, 5% of men and 3% of women met criteria for CSBD. A small US study found the number to be 10% and 7%, respectively. The diagnosis is not simple. Compulsive sexual behavior can be secondary to other mental health or medical conditions. Behaviors sometimes confused with CSBD can result from neurologic diseases, such as frontal brain lesions or frontotemporal dementia, as well as the use of substances and medications that enhance dopaminergic activity. 

Impaired control over sexual impulses occurs in manic and hypomanic episodes. Compulsive sexual behavior frequently co-occurs with mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and substance use disorders. Those meeting criteria for CSBD may engage in sexual behaviors as a way of coping with depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, or other negative affective states.  

The diagnosis of CSBD may be useful for clinicians. However, many, perhaps most, patients who present with concerns about their sexual behavior will fail to meet most criteria for CSBD. Their problem is of shorter duration, related to morality, external disapproval, lack of sexual health information, and anxiety about diverse erotic interests. It may be helpful for them to understand that they are not in the grip of a lifelong disorder but are experiencing common life challenges. 

Societal concerns about sexually explicit media, often called pornography, are complex, conflicting, and catastrophizing. Some studies indicate that sexually explicit media are positive for both individual and relational sexual satisfaction; other studies have found negative effects on sexual function. Concerns about pornography often are conflated with taboos about solo sexual activity. Ironically, use of pornography is associated with fear of addiction to pornography, creating a spiral of negative self-perception. 

Consequences of sexual behavior may induce distress, even if a person doesn’t meet criteria for CSBD, such as potential dissolution of a marriage, loss of a job, excessive spending, sexually transmitted infections, other health concerns, and even legal problems. Sexual behavior might not be the central issue but rather an offshoot of relational distress, a mental health disorder, or a dysfunctional coping style. 

Guilt and shame can act as potent contributors to maintaining the behaviors as well as promoting secrecy around them. Sexual medicine experts recommend avoiding interventions that increase the experience of discrimination and stigma and avoiding the pathologization of the behaviors of sexually diverse individuals. As in so many aspects of medical care, we must walk in our patients’ shoes and avoid imposing on them our own moral or religious values. 
 

What Can a Primary Care Provider Do?  

When a patient is concerned about sexual behavior that feels out of control, primary care providers have an important role in evaluating for neurologic disease or side effects related to the use of medication or other substances, and facilitating psychiatric assessment to evaluate for mental health comorbidities, past trauma, and associated attachment disorders. 

Our patients need resources to tease out the individual and relational problems that may arise. Seek out well-trained sex therapy colleagues in your community. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is one certifying body in the United States for sex therapy. 

Because of the heterogeneity of those who present with out-of-control sexual behavior, no one treatment fits all. Twelve-step programs, especially those with a focus on sexual “abstinence,” may not be the best choice. Many psychotherapeutic modalities are effective and often focus on addressing underlying or unrecognized mental health concerns, provide training on self-regulation and urge management, and relationship skills. Most important, the therapist needs to be sexologically informed and aware of their own biases around sexuality. Medical treatments are not recommended without concurrent psychological intervention. 

Relational sex therapy can help couples create clear relational agreements that work for both parties (or, in polyamorous relationships, everyone involved). Relational distress also may be a stimulus for individual psychotherapy. 

Back to these two patients. 

The 25-year-old could be counseled that use of sexually explicit media and solo sex are not inherently bad or damaging. When used for pleasure and enjoyment, they do not lead to problems with partnered sex or cause sexual dysfunction. Counseling him to move toward social engagement and life goals, rather than away from pornography, may be all that is necessary. 

Our second patient probably will need more intensive treatment, including medication management for her mood and referral to a certified sex therapist who has expertise in working with out-of-control sexual behavior. When she returns to see you in follow-up, she ideally expresses reduced shame, more autonomy, and renewed connection to her values, and she is keeping her relational agreements without sacrificing her sexual needs. 
 

Dr. Kranz is medical director, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness; assistant professor of Clinical Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York. Dr. Kranz has disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Dr. Rosen is director of Behavioral Health, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness, Rochester, New York. He has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article appeared on Medscape.com.

A 25-year-old man comes in with a pulled muscle. You ask if he has anything else to discuss. Sheepishly, he says he is concerned about his use of pornography. 

A 45-year-old woman struggling with depression finds herself persistently seeking sex outside the bounds of her long-term relationship. Her partner is threatening to leave. She is devastated and tells you she doesn’t understand her own behavior. 

Do these patients have some form of sex addiction? How should a primary care clinician intervene? Is a referral to a 12-step program for sex addiction the right choice? What other options exist? Is a diagnosis — let alone treatment — possible or appropriate? 
 

‘Who Are You Calling “Abnormal” ’?

Normal is not a meaningful concept in human sexual behavior. To quote the sex therapist Marty Klein, PhD: “Normal is just a setting on the dryer.” 

The same goes among partners: What is “normal” for one person in a sexual relationship may discomfit another. In partnerships, we have differences around all sorts of issues, from finances to parenting to how to load the dishwasher. Why should sex, sexual desire, and sexual frequency be different? 

Remember: Shame, fear, and secrecy often play a role in perpetuating behaviors that cause distress. Helping our patients accept and embrace their whole selves can provide important healing, relief from anxiety, and may even help them regulate their actions. Feeling less shame, fear, and secrecy may facilitate safer choices about sex, as well as testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections.

The International Classification of Diseases-11 includes compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD)as an attempt to create consensus around a complicated, and hotly debated, problem to facilitate diagnosis and research. Syndromes similar to CSBD have had many names: “hypersexual disorder,” “sexual addiction,” “sexual compulsivity,” and “out-of-control sexual behavior.” A sizable cohort of the sexuality research community casts doubt on whether CSBD is even a discrete diagnosis. 

According to the ICD-11, CSBD is characterized by “intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges that are experienced as irresistible or uncontrollable” and result in significant distress or functional impairment.

This diagnosis has several important rule-outs. First, paraphilias, defined as a set of nonconsensual sexual behaviors and interests, are excluded. Another is that distress exclusively related to moral judgment or social disapproval is not sufficient for a diagnosis of CSBD. Finally, the diagnosis hinges on distress and does not rely on frequency of any type of sexual behavior. Some people experience significant distress over behaviors in which they engage infrequently, whereas others may have no distress from activities in which they engage quite frequently. 

In one study from Germany, 5% of men and 3% of women met criteria for CSBD. A small US study found the number to be 10% and 7%, respectively. The diagnosis is not simple. Compulsive sexual behavior can be secondary to other mental health or medical conditions. Behaviors sometimes confused with CSBD can result from neurologic diseases, such as frontal brain lesions or frontotemporal dementia, as well as the use of substances and medications that enhance dopaminergic activity. 

Impaired control over sexual impulses occurs in manic and hypomanic episodes. Compulsive sexual behavior frequently co-occurs with mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and substance use disorders. Those meeting criteria for CSBD may engage in sexual behaviors as a way of coping with depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, or other negative affective states.  

The diagnosis of CSBD may be useful for clinicians. However, many, perhaps most, patients who present with concerns about their sexual behavior will fail to meet most criteria for CSBD. Their problem is of shorter duration, related to morality, external disapproval, lack of sexual health information, and anxiety about diverse erotic interests. It may be helpful for them to understand that they are not in the grip of a lifelong disorder but are experiencing common life challenges. 

Societal concerns about sexually explicit media, often called pornography, are complex, conflicting, and catastrophizing. Some studies indicate that sexually explicit media are positive for both individual and relational sexual satisfaction; other studies have found negative effects on sexual function. Concerns about pornography often are conflated with taboos about solo sexual activity. Ironically, use of pornography is associated with fear of addiction to pornography, creating a spiral of negative self-perception. 

Consequences of sexual behavior may induce distress, even if a person doesn’t meet criteria for CSBD, such as potential dissolution of a marriage, loss of a job, excessive spending, sexually transmitted infections, other health concerns, and even legal problems. Sexual behavior might not be the central issue but rather an offshoot of relational distress, a mental health disorder, or a dysfunctional coping style. 

Guilt and shame can act as potent contributors to maintaining the behaviors as well as promoting secrecy around them. Sexual medicine experts recommend avoiding interventions that increase the experience of discrimination and stigma and avoiding the pathologization of the behaviors of sexually diverse individuals. As in so many aspects of medical care, we must walk in our patients’ shoes and avoid imposing on them our own moral or religious values. 
 

What Can a Primary Care Provider Do?  

When a patient is concerned about sexual behavior that feels out of control, primary care providers have an important role in evaluating for neurologic disease or side effects related to the use of medication or other substances, and facilitating psychiatric assessment to evaluate for mental health comorbidities, past trauma, and associated attachment disorders. 

Our patients need resources to tease out the individual and relational problems that may arise. Seek out well-trained sex therapy colleagues in your community. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is one certifying body in the United States for sex therapy. 

Because of the heterogeneity of those who present with out-of-control sexual behavior, no one treatment fits all. Twelve-step programs, especially those with a focus on sexual “abstinence,” may not be the best choice. Many psychotherapeutic modalities are effective and often focus on addressing underlying or unrecognized mental health concerns, provide training on self-regulation and urge management, and relationship skills. Most important, the therapist needs to be sexologically informed and aware of their own biases around sexuality. Medical treatments are not recommended without concurrent psychological intervention. 

Relational sex therapy can help couples create clear relational agreements that work for both parties (or, in polyamorous relationships, everyone involved). Relational distress also may be a stimulus for individual psychotherapy. 

Back to these two patients. 

The 25-year-old could be counseled that use of sexually explicit media and solo sex are not inherently bad or damaging. When used for pleasure and enjoyment, they do not lead to problems with partnered sex or cause sexual dysfunction. Counseling him to move toward social engagement and life goals, rather than away from pornography, may be all that is necessary. 

Our second patient probably will need more intensive treatment, including medication management for her mood and referral to a certified sex therapist who has expertise in working with out-of-control sexual behavior. When she returns to see you in follow-up, she ideally expresses reduced shame, more autonomy, and renewed connection to her values, and she is keeping her relational agreements without sacrificing her sexual needs. 
 

Dr. Kranz is medical director, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness; assistant professor of Clinical Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York. Dr. Kranz has disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Dr. Rosen is director of Behavioral Health, Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness, Rochester, New York. He has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article appeared on Medscape.com.

I have a long history of being interested in conversations that others avoid. In medical school, I felt that we didn’t talk enough about death, so I organized a lecture series on end-of-life care for my fellow students. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, I have other conversations from which many medical providers shy away. So, buckle up! Here’s a topic that rarely emerges in medical care: sexuality at the end of life.

A key question in palliative care is: How do you want to live the life you have left? And where does the wide range of human pleasures fit in? In her book The Pleasure Zone, sex therapist Stella Resnick describes eight kinds of pleasure:

• pain relief
• play, humor, movement, and sound
• mental
• emotional
• sensual
• spiritual
• primal (just being)
• sexual

At the end of life, both medically and culturally, we pay attention to many of these pleasures. But sexuality is often ignored.

Sexuality – which can be defined as the experience of oneself as a sexual being – may include how sex is experienced in relationships or with oneself, sexual orientation, body image, gender expression and identity, as well as sexual satisfaction and pleasure. People may have different priorities at different times regarding their sexuality, but sexuality is a key aspect of feeling fully alive and human across the lifespan. At the end of life, sexuality, sexual expression, and physical connection may play even more important roles than previously.
 

‘I just want to be able to have sex with my husband again’

Z was a 75-year-old woman who came to me for help with vaginal stenosis. Her cancer treatments were not going well. I asked her one of my typical questions: “What does sex mean to you?”

Sexual pleasure was “glue” – a critical way for her to connect with her sense of self and with her husband, a man of few words. She described transcendent experiences with partnered sex during her life. Finally, she explained, she was saddened by the idea of not experiencing that again before she died. 

As medical providers, we don’t all need to be sex experts, but our patients should be able to have open and shame-free conversations with us about these issues at all stages of life. Up to 86% of palliative care patients want the chance to discuss their sexual concerns with a skilled clinician, and many consider this issue important to their psychological well-being. And yet, 91% reported that sexuality had not been addressed in their care.

In a Canadian study of 10 palliative care patients (and their partners), all but one felt that their medical providers should initiate conversations about sexuality and the effect of illness on sexual experience. They felt that this communication should be an integral component of care. The one person who disagreed said it was appropriate for clinicians to ask patients whether they wanted to talk about sexuality.

Before this study, sexuality had been discussed with only one participant. Here’s the magic part: Several of the patients reported that the study itself was therapeutic. This is my clinical experience as well. More often than not, open and shame-free clinical discussions about sexuality led to patients reflecting: “I’ve never been able to say this to another person, and now I feel so much better.” 

One study of palliative care nurses found that while the nurses acknowledged the importance of addressing sexuality, their way of addressing sexuality followed cultural myths and norms or relied on their own experience rather than knowledge-based guidelines. Why? One explanation could be that clinicians raised and educated in North America probably did not get adequate training on this topic. We need to do better. 

Second, cultural concepts that equate sexuality with healthy and able bodies who are partnered, young, cisgender, and heterosexual make it hard to conceive of how to relate sexuality to other bodies. We’ve been steeped in the biases of our culture.

Some medical providers avoid the topic because they feel vulnerable, fearful that a conversation about sexuality with a patient will reveal something about themselves. Others may simply deny the possibility that sexual function changes in the face of serious illness or that this could be a priority for their patients. Of course, we have a million other things to talk about – I get it.

Views on sex and sexuality affect how clinicians approach these conversations as well. A study of palliative care professionals described themes among those who did and did not address the topic. The professionals who did not discuss sexuality endorsed a narrow definition of sex based on genital sexual acts between two partners, usually heterosexual. Among these clinicians, when the issue came up, patients had raised the topic. They talked about sex using jokes and euphemisms (“are you still enjoying ‘good moments’ with your partner?”), perhaps to ease their own discomfort.

On the other hand, professionals who more frequently discussed sexuality with their patients endorsed a more holistic concept of sexuality: including genital and nongenital contact as well as nonphysical components like verbal communication and emotions. These clinicians found sexuality applicable to all individuals across the lifespan. They were more likely to initiate discussions about the effect of medications or illness on sexual function and address the need for equipment, such as a larger hospital bed.

I’m hoping that you might one day find yourself in the second group. Our patients at the end of life need our help in accessing the full range of pleasure in their lives. We need better medical education on how to help with sexual concerns when they arise (an article for another day), but we can start right now by simply initiating open, shame-free sexual health conversations. This is often the most important therapeutic intervention.

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

I have a long history of being interested in conversations that others avoid. In medical school, I felt that we didn’t talk enough about death, so I organized a lecture series on end-of-life care for my fellow students. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, I have other conversations from which many medical providers shy away. So, buckle up! Here’s a topic that rarely emerges in medical care: sexuality at the end of life.

A key question in palliative care is: How do you want to live the life you have left? And where does the wide range of human pleasures fit in? In her book The Pleasure Zone, sex therapist Stella Resnick describes eight kinds of pleasure:

• pain relief
• play, humor, movement, and sound
• mental
• emotional
• sensual
• spiritual
• primal (just being)
• sexual

At the end of life, both medically and culturally, we pay attention to many of these pleasures. But sexuality is often ignored.

Sexuality – which can be defined as the experience of oneself as a sexual being – may include how sex is experienced in relationships or with oneself, sexual orientation, body image, gender expression and identity, as well as sexual satisfaction and pleasure. People may have different priorities at different times regarding their sexuality, but sexuality is a key aspect of feeling fully alive and human across the lifespan. At the end of life, sexuality, sexual expression, and physical connection may play even more important roles than previously.
 

‘I just want to be able to have sex with my husband again’

Z was a 75-year-old woman who came to me for help with vaginal stenosis. Her cancer treatments were not going well. I asked her one of my typical questions: “What does sex mean to you?”

Sexual pleasure was “glue” – a critical way for her to connect with her sense of self and with her husband, a man of few words. She described transcendent experiences with partnered sex during her life. Finally, she explained, she was saddened by the idea of not experiencing that again before she died. 

As medical providers, we don’t all need to be sex experts, but our patients should be able to have open and shame-free conversations with us about these issues at all stages of life. Up to 86% of palliative care patients want the chance to discuss their sexual concerns with a skilled clinician, and many consider this issue important to their psychological well-being. And yet, 91% reported that sexuality had not been addressed in their care.

In a Canadian study of 10 palliative care patients (and their partners), all but one felt that their medical providers should initiate conversations about sexuality and the effect of illness on sexual experience. They felt that this communication should be an integral component of care. The one person who disagreed said it was appropriate for clinicians to ask patients whether they wanted to talk about sexuality.

Before this study, sexuality had been discussed with only one participant. Here’s the magic part: Several of the patients reported that the study itself was therapeutic. This is my clinical experience as well. More often than not, open and shame-free clinical discussions about sexuality led to patients reflecting: “I’ve never been able to say this to another person, and now I feel so much better.” 

One study of palliative care nurses found that while the nurses acknowledged the importance of addressing sexuality, their way of addressing sexuality followed cultural myths and norms or relied on their own experience rather than knowledge-based guidelines. Why? One explanation could be that clinicians raised and educated in North America probably did not get adequate training on this topic. We need to do better. 

Second, cultural concepts that equate sexuality with healthy and able bodies who are partnered, young, cisgender, and heterosexual make it hard to conceive of how to relate sexuality to other bodies. We’ve been steeped in the biases of our culture.

Some medical providers avoid the topic because they feel vulnerable, fearful that a conversation about sexuality with a patient will reveal something about themselves. Others may simply deny the possibility that sexual function changes in the face of serious illness or that this could be a priority for their patients. Of course, we have a million other things to talk about – I get it.

Views on sex and sexuality affect how clinicians approach these conversations as well. A study of palliative care professionals described themes among those who did and did not address the topic. The professionals who did not discuss sexuality endorsed a narrow definition of sex based on genital sexual acts between two partners, usually heterosexual. Among these clinicians, when the issue came up, patients had raised the topic. They talked about sex using jokes and euphemisms (“are you still enjoying ‘good moments’ with your partner?”), perhaps to ease their own discomfort.

On the other hand, professionals who more frequently discussed sexuality with their patients endorsed a more holistic concept of sexuality: including genital and nongenital contact as well as nonphysical components like verbal communication and emotions. These clinicians found sexuality applicable to all individuals across the lifespan. They were more likely to initiate discussions about the effect of medications or illness on sexual function and address the need for equipment, such as a larger hospital bed.

I’m hoping that you might one day find yourself in the second group. Our patients at the end of life need our help in accessing the full range of pleasure in their lives. We need better medical education on how to help with sexual concerns when they arise (an article for another day), but we can start right now by simply initiating open, shame-free sexual health conversations. This is often the most important therapeutic intervention.

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

I have a long history of being interested in conversations that others avoid. In medical school, I felt that we didn’t talk enough about death, so I organized a lecture series on end-of-life care for my fellow students. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, I have other conversations from which many medical providers shy away. So, buckle up! Here’s a topic that rarely emerges in medical care: sexuality at the end of life.

A key question in palliative care is: How do you want to live the life you have left? And where does the wide range of human pleasures fit in? In her book The Pleasure Zone, sex therapist Stella Resnick describes eight kinds of pleasure:

• pain relief
• play, humor, movement, and sound
• mental
• emotional
• sensual
• spiritual
• primal (just being)
• sexual

At the end of life, both medically and culturally, we pay attention to many of these pleasures. But sexuality is often ignored.

Sexuality – which can be defined as the experience of oneself as a sexual being – may include how sex is experienced in relationships or with oneself, sexual orientation, body image, gender expression and identity, as well as sexual satisfaction and pleasure. People may have different priorities at different times regarding their sexuality, but sexuality is a key aspect of feeling fully alive and human across the lifespan. At the end of life, sexuality, sexual expression, and physical connection may play even more important roles than previously.
 

‘I just want to be able to have sex with my husband again’

Z was a 75-year-old woman who came to me for help with vaginal stenosis. Her cancer treatments were not going well. I asked her one of my typical questions: “What does sex mean to you?”

Sexual pleasure was “glue” – a critical way for her to connect with her sense of self and with her husband, a man of few words. She described transcendent experiences with partnered sex during her life. Finally, she explained, she was saddened by the idea of not experiencing that again before she died. 

As medical providers, we don’t all need to be sex experts, but our patients should be able to have open and shame-free conversations with us about these issues at all stages of life. Up to 86% of palliative care patients want the chance to discuss their sexual concerns with a skilled clinician, and many consider this issue important to their psychological well-being. And yet, 91% reported that sexuality had not been addressed in their care.

In a Canadian study of 10 palliative care patients (and their partners), all but one felt that their medical providers should initiate conversations about sexuality and the effect of illness on sexual experience. They felt that this communication should be an integral component of care. The one person who disagreed said it was appropriate for clinicians to ask patients whether they wanted to talk about sexuality.

Before this study, sexuality had been discussed with only one participant. Here’s the magic part: Several of the patients reported that the study itself was therapeutic. This is my clinical experience as well. More often than not, open and shame-free clinical discussions about sexuality led to patients reflecting: “I’ve never been able to say this to another person, and now I feel so much better.” 

One study of palliative care nurses found that while the nurses acknowledged the importance of addressing sexuality, their way of addressing sexuality followed cultural myths and norms or relied on their own experience rather than knowledge-based guidelines. Why? One explanation could be that clinicians raised and educated in North America probably did not get adequate training on this topic. We need to do better. 

Second, cultural concepts that equate sexuality with healthy and able bodies who are partnered, young, cisgender, and heterosexual make it hard to conceive of how to relate sexuality to other bodies. We’ve been steeped in the biases of our culture.

Some medical providers avoid the topic because they feel vulnerable, fearful that a conversation about sexuality with a patient will reveal something about themselves. Others may simply deny the possibility that sexual function changes in the face of serious illness or that this could be a priority for their patients. Of course, we have a million other things to talk about – I get it.

Views on sex and sexuality affect how clinicians approach these conversations as well. A study of palliative care professionals described themes among those who did and did not address the topic. The professionals who did not discuss sexuality endorsed a narrow definition of sex based on genital sexual acts between two partners, usually heterosexual. Among these clinicians, when the issue came up, patients had raised the topic. They talked about sex using jokes and euphemisms (“are you still enjoying ‘good moments’ with your partner?”), perhaps to ease their own discomfort.

On the other hand, professionals who more frequently discussed sexuality with their patients endorsed a more holistic concept of sexuality: including genital and nongenital contact as well as nonphysical components like verbal communication and emotions. These clinicians found sexuality applicable to all individuals across the lifespan. They were more likely to initiate discussions about the effect of medications or illness on sexual function and address the need for equipment, such as a larger hospital bed.

I’m hoping that you might one day find yourself in the second group. Our patients at the end of life need our help in accessing the full range of pleasure in their lives. We need better medical education on how to help with sexual concerns when they arise (an article for another day), but we can start right now by simply initiating open, shame-free sexual health conversations. This is often the most important therapeutic intervention.

Dr. Kranz, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology and Family Medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center, has disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

A recent study found a significant association between lower sexual frequency and greater all-cause mortality in young and middle-aged people with hypertension. Should primary care physicians be offering a pleasure prescription to the 6 in 10 Americans living with chronic illness? How can we help these patients access their capacity for sexual pleasure, a critical and life-affirming component of the human experience?

Ask, don’t tell

First, we need to ask routinely about sexual well-being and pleasure. Without asking patients their views, we do not know the relevance of sex for their quality of life. Unless we ask, we do not know what specific kinds of sexual play are important for a person’s pleasure, nor can we assume how they prioritize their sexual functioning in the context of their medical care. When I began asking my primary care patients about sexual well-being, many more than I expected were quietly holding on to distressing issues. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, in each sexual function evaluation, I ask three key questions: What are your goals? What does sex mean to you? What kinds of sexual play are important for your (and your partner’s) pleasure?

Chronic disease – with physical symptoms as well as psychological, relational, and cultural components – affects both general and genital physiology. Any disease process that alters vascular, neuroendocrine, or musculoskeletal function is likely to influence sexual function, either directly through the disease process or indirectly through complications or the effect on identity and well-being. In addition, a host of iatrogenic changes to sexual function may accompany effects of treatments.

Managing the effects of chronic illness on sexuality requires resilience and flexibility. A serious injury may require a massive adjustment to sexuality, but progressive disease may require continuous accommodations to sexual changes. The life stage at which the disease occurs also matters. People facing disease early in life encounter challenges (finding willing sexual partners and limited medical guidance regarding their sexual functioning) as well as benefits (they may integrate their disease as part of their sexual life). Those who experience sexual changes related to their illness later in life may face a loss of “normal” sexual function and well-being.

Meanwhile, the partner who is not ill may have their own sexual needs, fears, and worries. Both patients and partners may experience disenfranchised grief – a sense of loss about something one is not culturally permitted to mourn (“I/my partner is alive in the face of this terrible illness; who am I to worry about our/my sexual pleasure?”).

Positive marital relationships influence health through improved survival, improved medical adherence, better quality of life for the patient, and improved life satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction is an important factor in relational satisfaction. Helping our patients with these changes therefore may improve not only sexual health but overall health.

How, then, should we address sexual pleasure in chronic illness care? Here are a few tips:

Focus on pleasure. “Performance” is foul language when it comes to sex. Full attention to sensation and enjoyment, the only sexual “skill” anyone needs, is impossible while trying to perform.

Encourage flexibility and recognize that sex encompasses a wide and varied menu of experiences that change over a lifetime. Sex is everything from kissing and cuddling to the wildest things a mind can imagine. We can help both patients and partners think about the wide variety of ways to meet sexual needs. Balancing acceptance of sexual changes with motivation for improvement also is part of our role.

Address the effects of illness on the patient’s relationship with their body. Illness may alter not only bodily function but also self-esteem and body image. A reorganization of self-concept may occur (“I am no longer a sexual person; I’m a sexually dysfunctional asthmatic/diabetic/etc. and should avoid sexual intimacy”). Examining these self-constructs allows shifts in thoughts and behaviors, leading to improved psychological and sexual well-being. Encourage patients to explore what feels good in this body now. When possible, we can help with referral for corrective surgeries or direction to resources like stoma covers, wigs, scarves, and tattoos.

We offer suggestions for “sleep hygiene”; how about pleasure hygiene?

• Encourage open communication with partner(s) and offer resources to develop communication skills.
• Consider needs for physical and emotional preparation for sexual play: adequate rest, preparing the environment for body fluids, pillows for comfort or aides for positioning, and plenty of lubricant at hand.
• Allow adequate time for sexual play and encourage the ability to adjust or stop and start over – with humor and self-compassion.
• Use sexual aides to enhance pleasure.
• Seek out sexual medicine and sex therapy colleagues when things become tricky.

All bodies, no matter their health or illness state, are capable of pleasure. Hey, pleasure might even save lives!

Dr. Kranz is an clinical assistant professor of obstetrics/gynecology and family medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center. She reported no conflicts of interest.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

A recent study found a significant association between lower sexual frequency and greater all-cause mortality in young and middle-aged people with hypertension. Should primary care physicians be offering a pleasure prescription to the 6 in 10 Americans living with chronic illness? How can we help these patients access their capacity for sexual pleasure, a critical and life-affirming component of the human experience?

Ask, don’t tell

First, we need to ask routinely about sexual well-being and pleasure. Without asking patients their views, we do not know the relevance of sex for their quality of life. Unless we ask, we do not know what specific kinds of sexual play are important for a person’s pleasure, nor can we assume how they prioritize their sexual functioning in the context of their medical care. When I began asking my primary care patients about sexual well-being, many more than I expected were quietly holding on to distressing issues. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, in each sexual function evaluation, I ask three key questions: What are your goals? What does sex mean to you? What kinds of sexual play are important for your (and your partner’s) pleasure?

Chronic disease – with physical symptoms as well as psychological, relational, and cultural components – affects both general and genital physiology. Any disease process that alters vascular, neuroendocrine, or musculoskeletal function is likely to influence sexual function, either directly through the disease process or indirectly through complications or the effect on identity and well-being. In addition, a host of iatrogenic changes to sexual function may accompany effects of treatments.

Managing the effects of chronic illness on sexuality requires resilience and flexibility. A serious injury may require a massive adjustment to sexuality, but progressive disease may require continuous accommodations to sexual changes. The life stage at which the disease occurs also matters. People facing disease early in life encounter challenges (finding willing sexual partners and limited medical guidance regarding their sexual functioning) as well as benefits (they may integrate their disease as part of their sexual life). Those who experience sexual changes related to their illness later in life may face a loss of “normal” sexual function and well-being.

Meanwhile, the partner who is not ill may have their own sexual needs, fears, and worries. Both patients and partners may experience disenfranchised grief – a sense of loss about something one is not culturally permitted to mourn (“I/my partner is alive in the face of this terrible illness; who am I to worry about our/my sexual pleasure?”).

Positive marital relationships influence health through improved survival, improved medical adherence, better quality of life for the patient, and improved life satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction is an important factor in relational satisfaction. Helping our patients with these changes therefore may improve not only sexual health but overall health.

How, then, should we address sexual pleasure in chronic illness care? Here are a few tips:

Focus on pleasure. “Performance” is foul language when it comes to sex. Full attention to sensation and enjoyment, the only sexual “skill” anyone needs, is impossible while trying to perform.

Encourage flexibility and recognize that sex encompasses a wide and varied menu of experiences that change over a lifetime. Sex is everything from kissing and cuddling to the wildest things a mind can imagine. We can help both patients and partners think about the wide variety of ways to meet sexual needs. Balancing acceptance of sexual changes with motivation for improvement also is part of our role.

Address the effects of illness on the patient’s relationship with their body. Illness may alter not only bodily function but also self-esteem and body image. A reorganization of self-concept may occur (“I am no longer a sexual person; I’m a sexually dysfunctional asthmatic/diabetic/etc. and should avoid sexual intimacy”). Examining these self-constructs allows shifts in thoughts and behaviors, leading to improved psychological and sexual well-being. Encourage patients to explore what feels good in this body now. When possible, we can help with referral for corrective surgeries or direction to resources like stoma covers, wigs, scarves, and tattoos.

We offer suggestions for “sleep hygiene”; how about pleasure hygiene?

• Encourage open communication with partner(s) and offer resources to develop communication skills.
• Consider needs for physical and emotional preparation for sexual play: adequate rest, preparing the environment for body fluids, pillows for comfort or aides for positioning, and plenty of lubricant at hand.
• Allow adequate time for sexual play and encourage the ability to adjust or stop and start over – with humor and self-compassion.
• Use sexual aides to enhance pleasure.
• Seek out sexual medicine and sex therapy colleagues when things become tricky.

All bodies, no matter their health or illness state, are capable of pleasure. Hey, pleasure might even save lives!

Dr. Kranz is an clinical assistant professor of obstetrics/gynecology and family medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center. She reported no conflicts of interest.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.

A recent study found a significant association between lower sexual frequency and greater all-cause mortality in young and middle-aged people with hypertension. Should primary care physicians be offering a pleasure prescription to the 6 in 10 Americans living with chronic illness? How can we help these patients access their capacity for sexual pleasure, a critical and life-affirming component of the human experience?

Ask, don’t tell

First, we need to ask routinely about sexual well-being and pleasure. Without asking patients their views, we do not know the relevance of sex for their quality of life. Unless we ask, we do not know what specific kinds of sexual play are important for a person’s pleasure, nor can we assume how they prioritize their sexual functioning in the context of their medical care. When I began asking my primary care patients about sexual well-being, many more than I expected were quietly holding on to distressing issues. Now, as a sexual medicine specialist, in each sexual function evaluation, I ask three key questions: What are your goals? What does sex mean to you? What kinds of sexual play are important for your (and your partner’s) pleasure?

Chronic disease – with physical symptoms as well as psychological, relational, and cultural components – affects both general and genital physiology. Any disease process that alters vascular, neuroendocrine, or musculoskeletal function is likely to influence sexual function, either directly through the disease process or indirectly through complications or the effect on identity and well-being. In addition, a host of iatrogenic changes to sexual function may accompany effects of treatments.

Managing the effects of chronic illness on sexuality requires resilience and flexibility. A serious injury may require a massive adjustment to sexuality, but progressive disease may require continuous accommodations to sexual changes. The life stage at which the disease occurs also matters. People facing disease early in life encounter challenges (finding willing sexual partners and limited medical guidance regarding their sexual functioning) as well as benefits (they may integrate their disease as part of their sexual life). Those who experience sexual changes related to their illness later in life may face a loss of “normal” sexual function and well-being.

Meanwhile, the partner who is not ill may have their own sexual needs, fears, and worries. Both patients and partners may experience disenfranchised grief – a sense of loss about something one is not culturally permitted to mourn (“I/my partner is alive in the face of this terrible illness; who am I to worry about our/my sexual pleasure?”).

Positive marital relationships influence health through improved survival, improved medical adherence, better quality of life for the patient, and improved life satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction is an important factor in relational satisfaction. Helping our patients with these changes therefore may improve not only sexual health but overall health.

How, then, should we address sexual pleasure in chronic illness care? Here are a few tips:

Focus on pleasure. “Performance” is foul language when it comes to sex. Full attention to sensation and enjoyment, the only sexual “skill” anyone needs, is impossible while trying to perform.

Encourage flexibility and recognize that sex encompasses a wide and varied menu of experiences that change over a lifetime. Sex is everything from kissing and cuddling to the wildest things a mind can imagine. We can help both patients and partners think about the wide variety of ways to meet sexual needs. Balancing acceptance of sexual changes with motivation for improvement also is part of our role.

Address the effects of illness on the patient’s relationship with their body. Illness may alter not only bodily function but also self-esteem and body image. A reorganization of self-concept may occur (“I am no longer a sexual person; I’m a sexually dysfunctional asthmatic/diabetic/etc. and should avoid sexual intimacy”). Examining these self-constructs allows shifts in thoughts and behaviors, leading to improved psychological and sexual well-being. Encourage patients to explore what feels good in this body now. When possible, we can help with referral for corrective surgeries or direction to resources like stoma covers, wigs, scarves, and tattoos.

We offer suggestions for “sleep hygiene”; how about pleasure hygiene?

• Encourage open communication with partner(s) and offer resources to develop communication skills.
• Consider needs for physical and emotional preparation for sexual play: adequate rest, preparing the environment for body fluids, pillows for comfort or aides for positioning, and plenty of lubricant at hand.
• Allow adequate time for sexual play and encourage the ability to adjust or stop and start over – with humor and self-compassion.
• Use sexual aides to enhance pleasure.
• Seek out sexual medicine and sex therapy colleagues when things become tricky.

All bodies, no matter their health or illness state, are capable of pleasure. Hey, pleasure might even save lives!

Dr. Kranz is an clinical assistant professor of obstetrics/gynecology and family medicine, University of Rochester (N.Y.) Medical Center. She reported no conflicts of interest.

A version of this article first appeared on Medscape.com.